too afraid to fail

I feel like I’ve been working on the same paper for hours just trying to find a thesis. I use to be so good at just cranking out one thesis after another. It didn’t matter what the topic was or the type of criticism or any of that nonsense. Just give me your theme and what you want to do and your premise. I’d give you a solid sounding thesis in a matter of minutes.

So what happened?

I think I’m just too afraid to be bad. I’m experiencing real writer’s block, because I am too afraid to fail. I don’t want write something that isn’t perfect. I need perfection. I need that A. It keeps me here. It keeps me going to school and I don’t know why I don’t have it anymore.

I’m not saying my grades are slipping.

I guess I’m just saying that I’m tired of trying and just getting B’s this semester. . . I’ve got to keep going, but I’m just so frustrated. And there’s no middle ground anywhere. Either my friends don’t care and end up doing well, or care to much and end up failing, or care enough to but only get Bs, or care too much and still don’t get As on top of not getting enough sleep. _._ I am so frustrated.


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